I’m going to start a campaign and call it In Your Own Time.  Why does society persist in giving timeline expectations of how long we should grieve, or how long it takes for us to ‘get over it’?  What a ridiculous notion that we should ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one. And how absurd that at midnight exactly 6 months after the death, our emotions should turn off- do we have an internal tap to access for that? Wail, cry, sob, laugh, memorialise, yearn or  whatever you want, for as long as you need, and be damned with others’ expectations of you.

Let’s start a revolution to normalise a normal human emotion- #inyourowntime. Vive La Revolution!!

8 thoughts on “#inyourowntime 💙

  1. Thank you. My brother and sister in law passed away not even three months ago, and I’m feeling some pressure from the outside to act like it’s not bothering me anymore. I believe that people expect you to act like everything is OK because they, themselves, are uncomfortable with death. It’s easier on them to see you with a smile than to see your pain. I tend to self-sacrifice in general, so I stuff my feelings down when around other people. Blogging has been giving me a healthy outlet for the things I want people to know. Thank you for understanding.

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    1. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment. I’m so sorry for your losses, two at once must be doubly hard to deal with. You’re absolutely right about other people -that really shouldn’t affect us when we are grieving but it does. Your blog is very moving and I’m sure helping others too. Take care & look after yourself, Caroline

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  2. Reblogged this on Sarissa's Blog and commented:
    People are uncomfortable with death. They don’t want to see your pain. It’s easier for them to see you smiling, and acting like everything is OK. I have a long history of self-sacrificing for the sake of others, so I tend to hold back my ugly emotions. There are plenty of them, believe me. Because I stuff them down, they manifest in dreams which then create a dark cloud that hovers over my head all day. It’s really hard sometimes to act like I’m fine. It’s hard sometimes to get up in the morning, go to work, perform my duties, make small talk, smile and wave at people, and laugh. There are times it feels foreign to be acting so casual. Underneath my smile, my soul is broken. I’m still very much in shock over the tragic way in which I lost two very important people in my life. I’m never going to be the same. This is what others need to know. This is why I write.

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    1. It makes me sad to hear that you have to act ‘normal’ when you have suffered such significant losses and hope you find comfort in knowing you are not alone. Thank you for reblogging and hopefully we can all make a difference. Take care of yourself, Caroline

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  3. A lot of people are out of their depth when it comes to Grief, and many times I have had to tell them this, in the best way I can. Do not listen to people who think they know what is best for you or what you should do. Grief is very private.

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    1. Thank you for commenting- I completely agree with you and feel we are constantly battling the needs of individuals with societal expectations, hence the rant! It’s lovely to hear your comments x

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