Do as I say and not as I do…?

Today I’m hugely conflicted.

I awake to a smart phone that flashes and beeps 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with social media notifications, and bereavement alerts of one description or another.

But today is not just another day; it’s the anniversary of my nephew’s death.  So I have notifications and reminders of this fact via Facebook, emails & texts- as if I wasn’t already acutely aware of the date.

The conflict is whether I share my memories or photos, or my feelings in such a public forum.  Do I change my profile picture? Post a photo of my nephew? Post a loving memorial telling ‘the world’ how much he’s loved and never forgotten?  Or do I keep quiet, and privately remember, and treasure our short time with him, and all the joy he brought in the three and a half years he was with us?

As a bereavement support worker, I’m an advocate for being open about death, dying and bereavement; a death denying society is not a healthy one in my opinion.  Death is a natural part of life, and grieving is necessary and healthy.  But I’m not sure I want to express my thoughts and feelings in such a public way, or to people that never knew my nephew.

Which brings me here.  To a fairly private, largely anonymous forum where I can express myself to those who ‘get it’, without the platitudes, and devoid of the ‘stalkers’ who are my friends that read but don’t comment..

This is my way & you will have your way.

So this is my tribute to a beautiful child that touched our lives in so many ways.

Always loved & never forgotten 💛


19 thoughts on “Do as I say and not as I do…?

  1. Hi Caroline, we get so involved in our research which hopefully will have a positive effect on others and then life and death smacks us in the face and reminds us how we are personally motivated in our studies. Thinking of you x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello all. Sounds a little macabre but I just stumbled on ‘death corner’ so to speak and rapidly clicked to follow about half a dozen grief/death bloggers. Glad to know I’m far from the only one who is drawn to the subject, perhaps I might find others who have also been unpleasantly preoccupied with tje idea of death since childhood and am prone to a sudden utterly immobilizing death-fear a little like a panic attack; and of course finding these writings is an instant reminder that I my personal current grief stricken is shared daily by millions and will touch everyone at some point in their lives. So, thinking of you too today and I look forward to having a good read of what may well be a.very beneficial discovery for me, at this particular moment, as well. Perhaps that’s why I found you. Best to you and all others in this comunity. PH

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for reading & commenting PH. I hope you find comfort in what you find & if you’d like to chat or would like signposting please don’t hesitate to contact me. Best wishes, Caroline


    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment Cindy, its taken a while for me to get to this point so you comment is warmly & gratefully received. Caroline


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s