#inyourowntime 💙

I’m going to start a campaign and call it In Your Own Time.  Why does society persist in giving timeline expectations of how long we should grieve, or how long it takes for us to ‘get over it’?  What a ridiculous notion that we should ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one. And how absurd that at midnight exactly 6 months after the death, our emotions should turn off- do we have an internal tap to access for that? Wail, cry, sob, laugh, memorialise, yearn or  whatever you want, for as long as you need, and be damned with others’ expectations of you.

Let’s start a revolution to normalise a normal human emotion- #inyourowntime. Vive La Revolution!!

The Anatomy of Grief: Anger

Living With Robyn

Today is not a good day. Today I am blinded by hatred and anger. Today I am upset that this is all I can feel.Today is the first time I’ve come away from a counselling session and felt worse. Working as a therapist I know that sometimes people feel that talking makes things worse. It feels a powerless place to be in when you want to help someone. In that particular moment all you can do is acknowledge the emotions and hope that they will return if and when it feels right and that I can help again.

Today my feelings are about my frustration with myself and this situation, that no one has any answers, that I don’t have the answers. I hate everything and up until now I didn’t ‘hate’ the way I do now.
I hate being so useless & powerless, I hate going to the…

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What on earth do you say to a bereaved mum? It’s simple, STALL

This is the best advice I’ve ever read on how to support and communicate with a grieving parent.

Chasing dragonflies

It can seem like there’s plenty of advice about what not to do when it comes to grief. I’ve written a number of emotional posts about how some people get it ‘wrong’ when talking (or not!) to a beavered parent, such as this one and this one. While my rants are only one element of my complex grief emotion, I am, in the main, very accepting that people can’t be expected to ‘get it right’ all the time when dealing with such a sensitive issue (though I have heard some true howlers!).

But there are times when it’s worth knowing just what bereaved mums like me want from our friends and acquaintances particularly in the early days.

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Hello, my name is Caroline, I have been volunteering and working within the world of bereavement and pre-bereavement since 1988 when I experienced my first death.  Since then I have been bereaved many times in many ways and as a ‘Thinking Griever’ have tried to make sense of my own experiences through research, education and training, whilst supporting others too.

I am a bereavement volunteer with a national charity, I facilitate bereavement support groups, I run grief workshops, I am a Trustee for another national charity, deliver training on grief & bereavement, I was commissioned to write a book for JKP on grief and I am researching for a PhD in bereavement.

Please feel free to comment on my posts or if you would  like any further information or signposting please contact me directly & I’ll be happy to help.

Twitter: @TheGriefGeek              Email: Caroline@thegriefgeek.com

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